Revelry Snippet – Help Please

So, there is a particular scene in Revelry that involves Asa pretty much being a cheap version of Walter White. His destiny is a Healer, and Healers have to know how to create certain combinations of chemicals and other stuff that I’d rather not go into terrible detail over as to give away too much of the scene. I researched for this scene for hours, watched about eight different YouTube videos to make sure I got the details of certain chemical reactions down. I also have to include my own twist on things because hey, we’re dealing with a teenager on an alien planet.

It was a pain in the arse having to remember all the stuff I learned in high school and college about scientific stuff. I questioned myself on if I knew what a beaker was and what a petri dish was. Yes. That’s how unscientific I am. Yes. I am also aware I am writing SCIENCE fiction.

So for those of you who are science nerds and get a thrill out of science, please read the below snippet of Revelry to let me know if all the science-y stuff is written well enough and intelligible enough.

chemistry-glassware

Ooo! Lab equipment! Don’t ask me what everything is because I have no earthly idea. I’m mentally on Farnyn right now.

So, here is the snippet. I don’t want to set the scene up too much for you as it offers spoilers to what’s going to happen. Basically, Asa is taking his Final Examination to determine if he will pass the test to become a full-fledged Healer. There are three sections of the test and this particular scene is one of them. I have removed some of the dialogue and details as it gives away some spoiler information, but the big part of where I need help is still there.

Also, there may be grammatical/typographical errors. You’re welcome to point them out, but I’ve probably already added them in my hard copy of Revelry. This was a snippet I picked out awhile back.

–x–

“As you know, this is the final portion of your Final Examination,” she said. We walked through numerous people as we made our way to my final testing place. “Much of what you are expected to do is show your skills as a Healer. You will be asked to do a series of tasks in the lab.”

The Healer and I approached a nearby Closet.

“You will need to be rerobed into Labwear, as you will possibly be encountering harmful chemicals and elementations,” she said.

I did as she requested and stood in the Closet and commanded Labwear. After I was rerobed, I exited the Closet and we continued through the Medic. We approached a door that I recognized—I had been here before to learn how to formulate cures in test tubes and play with chemicals and elementations. She entered a seven-digit code and the door opened in front of us.

“Mister Fischer, is it?”

“Yes, good Healer.”

“Alright, first task: create a combustible reaction with a choice of the chemical elementations that are on the lab table.” She looked bored as she took a seat in front of one of the lab tables in the room. I stared blankly at her. “You are not timed on this section, but I do ask that you not dally as I have other things I need to attend to after this.”

I brushed off her calloused attitude about administering the Healer portion of the Final Examination and approached the lab table. All the necessary lab equipment was there—beakers, droppers, flasks, stirring rods and more. I took in a deep breath before glancing at the elementations that were made available for me to create a combustible reaction. There were equal parts of Farnyn, Universal and Earth elementations. I recognized several and reached for the iron and sulfur—both of Earth. I took out a beaker, stirring rod, and Bunsen burner to begin creating the combustible reaction.

I poured the iron in the beaker first and then poured the sulfur on top of it. Taking the stirring rod, I blended the two elementations together until it created a light grey color. I glanced up at the Healer quickly. She still looked bored. Refocusing on the work before me, I poured the mixture onto the lab table and turned on the Bunsen burner. The open flame burned bright as I took the stirrer to heat it for thirty seconds. I placed the stirrer on the iron and sulfur mixture and instantaneously it burned purple and smoldered orange.

“Well done, Mister Fischer,” the Healer said with a single clap of her hands. I nodded my head and waited for my next task. “For your second task, create an exothermic reaction with a choice of elementations on your lab table.”

I nodded and began working. I grabbed a new beaker, stirrer, petri dish, mortar and pestle, scoopula, dropper pipet, powdered zinc and iodine. I used the sink at the table to fill the beaker halfway with water. Once full, I grabbed the petri dish and sat it in front of me. Then, I turned my attention to the iodine and placed it in the mortar, crushing it to a fine powder with the pestle. I poured the powered iodine into the petri dish and grabbed the powdered zinc and, with a scoopula, took out two scoops of powdered zinc and poured it on the iodine. With the stirrer, I carefully mixed the zinc and iodine mixture in the glass petri dish. I watched as the grey mixture turned black and that was my cue to take the dropper pipet and extract a drop of water from the beaker to initiate the reaction. A deep purple smoke exploded into the air, generating heat by the exothermic reaction.

“You had me thinking you picked out the wrong elementation, I was waiting for it to blow up in your face,” the Healer said. She stood up from the chair and made her way to the door. “Clearly you know enough on experimentations. Stay here while I retrieve the last part of your Healer examination and then you will be out of here with your results.”

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